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Tuesday, May 19, 2009

The Most Beautiful Girl In The World

In my office there is a girl who is tall and beautiful and six months ahead of every fashion trend. She is always listening to Prince. She spent one whole summer following his tour across North America.

That is how she met her boyfriend. Apparently he is very good looking. He is also separated from his wife and the father of a little girl.

When they go out she always pays for her portion. He doesn’t say I love you, you look beautiful or make any plans with her that don’t include going to the local hockey game. She cooks and cleans for him; buys fresh vegetables for dinner. She takes care of his daughter every second weekend, buys patio furniture for his balcony and fucks him when he comes home early and sober enough - and for these privileges she pays $700 a month. What with the alimony, child support, car lease and boozing he never would have been able to buy a condo if he hadn’t found her.

She told me that when she first started sleeping with him, she accidentally left her bra at his house. He called her from a bar and told her that he had the bra with him and that after declaring the bra size to all, no one was impressed by a 34B. She was so hurt. He has no recollection of the incident but he does think that it is hysterically funny.

His pet name for his daughter is “Baby”. His pet name for her is “Loser” and she wants his daughter’s name for herself. She says that she is not in love, that she would never get married and she believes there is nothing after death, not heaven, not hell and that she knows this with such awareness that if she thinks to long on it she starts to cry.

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