Monday, January 17, 2011

Date #39 - January 4, 2011

This man wrote a message a week in advance, inviting me to meet at The Keg after work.
I accepted, but instead of showing up he sent a text at the last minute advising he would be 30 minutes late. Of course, I advised that I needed to cancel. Funny how that always sets off the fireworks. Cowards never want to call until you don't need then anymore, then they can't leave you alone.
It is to be expected that a full grown man knows enough not to leave a woman waiting at a restaurant. He choose the place and suggested to the time. It is also to be expected that a full grown man has the necessary coping skills to deal with a change in plans. So when I texted that a time change wasn't going to work for me and that I needed to cancel, it is fair to say that he went insane.
He sent 3 texts which I didn't read (more than one indicates insanity), and then called me. He started by telling a series of fibs:
1. He sent the text 20 minutes earlier than my phone indicated.
2. There was a terrible accident far away and he had been stopped for 20 minutes.
3. But! Now he was barreling down the highway and would be there soon. (?)
It is important to note the repeated use of "20 minutes". Liars use the same phrase over again to keep their lies "straight". I told him not to bother. He said "Have a good night" and hung up.
Then he sent a final text: "You are a bitter biter bitter woman. What if someone found out". I deleted it.
Full Disclosure: He was older and very sad because he wanted this to fail. In good faith I showed up and he did not keep his word to do the same. Instead he allowed himself to be late, advised me at the last minute preventing us from re-scheduling like adults and told me non-verbally that he held me in such disregard that it didn't matter what kind of impression he made. His cowardice manifested this reality. Then rather than salvage it he called me names by text when he didn't have the courage to say it on the phone. He is a coward and he hates himself so much - rather, he is so convinced that no one will like him - that he did this instead. This is the risk of Internet dating. You may unwittingly be the cross upon which others choose to crucify themselves.

1 comment:

  1. <3
    I love the back-peddling he did the moment you canceled.

    He could have easily saved this by calling to indicate he would be late (only if it was unavoidable, ex. the '20 minute delay' was real) and attempting to reschedule like a gentlemen...with no name calling.

    I once stuck around for a date where the guy was almost an hour behind. I did this purely to see how he'd attempt to explain himself/save the situation (also, I was live blogging on Twitter and had a good book).
    Result: after the initial apology he acted as if nothing was wrong. I downed the drink he bought me and left. He left me angry texts because I was too busy to stay an extra hour, and has 'wasted his time'



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