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Friday, March 4, 2011

Take Yes For An Answer

Dear Reader, I am a single red-blooded female and like all young single things I am interested in sex. A lot. I have a lot of confidence on dates now, and with confidence comes a letting down of one's guard. Sex is more of an option now. Yes, I understand that building a lasting relationship involves more than sex.
BUT am I allowed to say - that with some guys - I have no practical interest in a relationship? You are just very good looking and all those hours you spent at the gym instead of university are about to pay off.

Single woman my age aren't supposed to say that out loud.

A statement like that seems to give permission to all those who would shake their head, roll their eyes and say it's my fault that I am single (my FAULT) if I admit that I am open to being seduced by a man I barely know. The head shakers and eye rollers would have me stay/live with/marry any man for the sake of having a date on New's Year's Eve. I call this syndrome "A Man At Any Cost". I have already decided that is not the correct choice for me.

Let me be clear. I am exceptionally accomplished. I speak, read and write 3 languages. I have been to 31 countries on my own. I own property. I scored a near perfect on the SAT Verbal. I am far too accomplished to be a good lifemate to some men. This is not bragging, this is a fact. If a man does not have a job or a relationship with his family or a clean record, then he is not for me. I am not judging him, I am judging his actions. We quickly learn we have nothing in common...except chemistry.

It would seem that the man with the least amount of common sense often talks the most about having sex. Well, AriesGuy123, today's your lucky day because I'm listening. You see, the way it works is, all I have to do is say Yes. The real endurance test falls squarely on your shoulders; I just have to lie there. Are you sure you are up to that kind of challenge? The biggest fools make statements to strangers like, "I'm really good at sex". Do you realize how great you would have to be to live up to even half of that statement? Do you further realize that women have the best sex of their lives with men they are in love with? Gratefully, I have discovered an select number of men eager to prove me wrong.

Take for example, Wolfverine99, he had a great profile pic and a dashing bio. He wrote an email, got my number and started texting. Like the proper Rules Girl that I am, I answered only once a day and politely demurred when he tried to make plans the same day. He tried this many times. I knew it was a lost cause when he proved to be an exceptionally slow learner. Very good looking men have it very easy in the prime of their life. They are never asked to wait for sex and as a result they tend to be terrible at it. I have one young man who only has one speed: FAST; and only one method: HARD. He kisses hard, he grabs hard, he pulls hard and he pushes hard. I only need sex like that once a year. Wolfverine99 finally did the impossible and he asked me out for the following day: He was clear in his text message that I was second choice because something else had fallen through.

"My daughter is sick, so I wont be visiting her so I have tomorrow night free" How flattering!
Full Disclosure: Shouldn't a man be visiting your child when they ARE sick, not just well? As a general aside, he was not winning any points for being a good parent either.

It did not matter, because by then I already knew I was going to experiment with him.
I wanted to know if he could Take Yes for An Answer, so I texted back "ok!" and waited...
And once I have said Yes, consider the deal closed. Again, the man with the least amount of common sense will not realize he has gained his prize until he has talked you to death. The reason? He has nowhere to take you. Again, there is a double standard in favour of women; there is hardly an expectation that she should provide the where. Take Yes For An Answer, you fool. Get your hand out of your pants, get your own place and begin to seduce women.
The following day and night passed with no further messages. He simply disappeared. I am never surprised but this is always a bit humbling...
Two days later he began to text again:

"Hey busy girl" (like it was me who cancelled the date) "I was thinking we could plan something for next Monday or Wednesday"

Holy Shit! He wanted to plan a date! Like a grown up! But only after humiliating me by first standing me up!
You see, Dear reader, he wanted to test me and toy with how badly I wanted the date. It wasn't enough to meet a live woman, he first had to destroy her self esteem by keeping her off balance with his timing, so she was never sure he would actually show up. How flattering!

He wrote "I was thinking we could talk on the phone a bit to get to know each other before we meet!"

Y'know... that is a great idea Wolfverine99! and you had that opportunity to for more than 10 days. You certainly do not need my permission to make the first call if I have already given you my number, you fucking idiot. Do not delay or I may lose interest...oops...I just did.
I waited 10 minutes and wrote "no thank you"
He quickly texted back: "Ok but are you still interested in keeping in touch and meeting?"
read: He literally could not believe that I was turning him down, when he still had months or even years of crazy-making games to harm me with.
I waited another 10 minutes and wrote "no thank you". A Rules Girl is always polite.
So in the end the answer was "No", this man could NOT take yes for an answer. Such a shame really.
Life is more fun when everyone knows The Rules.

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