Friday, April 15, 2011

Date # 47 and #48: And when the moment came...

My last year of high school was rowdy. Mostly because I went to a boarding school in Switzerland and the drinking age was sixteen. Things got kind of hairy towards June and so yearbook pictures became - for one reason or another- difficult to take because the students were difficult to track down. Students that did not show up for the photo forfeited their entry, and the yearbook committee decided - in their infinite wisdom - to simply print the name and the phrase "And when the moment came..." Nothing more. And we were left to wonder what might have been.

I did not get an accurate explanation as to why this phrase was chosen, mostly because I didn't ask, but I am reminded of it when I think about Date #47 and #48. It seems to perfectly chosen if you want to describe a person with a maximum amount of potential and a minimum amount of follow-through.

Date#47 emailed, got my number and called me on a Friday after work. He sounded very high strung but covered it by saying he was better in person than on the phone. Okay, I'll buy that. Of course, I was busy on Friday so he suggested that he call next week. He called the following Monday and suggested the going out on Thursday at 8pm and confirmed the he would find a place in my area. He was less high-strung but still very tense. I knew things were going south when he waited til 5pm on Thursday to call me to confirm the date. I was immediately sorry I had picked up the phone. He was so hysterically nervous it sounded like he had just snorted a bowl of cocaine floating in espresso. I say confirm but he still had no idea where we were going. As soon as I picked up you could tell that he wished I hadn't. He managed to ask if I was still up for going out that night, if he was trying to sound casual he failed. Then he made a bunch of noise to indicate he was "still at the studio" and would call me again to firm up plans. I do not have that kind of patience, Dear Reader. So I said the one sentence that acts like kryptonite to already-skittish men, I said very brightly, with a smile on my lips: "Okay, don't be late!"

For some reason, a man who hears these words will deliberately be late, or not show up. I hung up and wondered why he would spend all that energy hunting and none in actually meeting me. He called again later that night at quarter to 7 and I let it ring. He left a message asking me to call back and firm up plans...etc. Dud.

This potential suitor was a lot more promising. He had a great picture and direct, to the point message, he got my number, called me and left a message. Unfortunately, I was too eager to get him to ask me out for the coming weekend and I called him back. Uh oh. This is in direct contrast to what The Rules advise: which is NEVER call a guy that you haven't met in person. I called him and he picked up and we had a good conversation. He was normal and confident and 5 minutes passed quickly. He was one of those loud talkers who is always on the go. I have to admit that I was excited to meet him. He suggested either Thursday or Saturday and again I made a fatal error (one always leads to more, Single Girl). The Rules advise that when talking to man on the phone or in person and he asks a question, that before one answers a woman should pause, count to five silently and then answer in a breezy kind of way, like it doesn't really matter. Or better yet, when he asks you when are you free, say "I will have to see...".

Is this what I did? No!

I practically cut him off in mid-sentence and yelled "Saturday! I'm free Saturday!" and I suddenly felt the energy change, even through the phone. I tried to save it by saying "uhm...because I already have plans on Thursday". But I knew it was too late. He mumbled that he would call on Saturday to - you guessed it - firm up the details but we both knew it wasn't to be. Saturday came and went with no date. Someone did call my phone at 6pm with Blocked Number but whoever it was didn't leave a message so I went to a Burlesque show instead, but my heart wasn't in it.

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