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Monday, May 2, 2011

299 Bloor, Please Call Control

How To Effectively Deal With Non-Starters
Be careful, Single Girl, how much energy you expend trying to "get to know" someone. When dealing with strangers on the internet, do not be afraid!, but remember your boundaries before exhausting yourself or you will be sorry indeed.

Initial problems right up front are always a clue. I am reminded of the advice my mother gave me when selecting my new kitten(s) from the pound. Do not go for the one that is sad, lying in the corner, hissing or disinterested because this is the kitten with problems. Problems that we could not afford to fix. We could pay for food and shots and the occasional cat-ate-bee-and-bee-bit-back emergency (you should have seen how much his mouth swelled!) but not ongoing health problems. Go for the kitten that is engaged, making eye contact, purring when you approach for this is the cat for you. The same is true of men.

Getting to know someone for relationship should not be difficult. It's okay to be nervous, not exhausted. Choosing someone to love should be "the easiest decision of them all". So it follows that things like date, time and location should not prove difficult when making inital plans. It is common for some men to email, get your number and then stall. They send a few half-hearted text messges and then stall. Sentences like the following are non-starters. This means the man is trying to get something for nothing. Do not be fooled.

"so when are you comin to london" as in, ontario
Correct answer is...No answer. Delete. He didn't even go to the trouble of using punctuation. What does that tell you?
Since men will always re-text if they are ignored, this man followed up with
"i was sohoping you would come out to london brakes don't work car in shop"
That's Not An MP, That's a YP = YOUR PROBLEM!
Let me be very clear that a stranger's problem has no reflection on you, Single Girl. If you were dumb enough to act on this, then his next request will be for cash, then to bail him out of prison, etc. Delete.

"wanna fuck?!?!"
Correct answer is... No answer. Delete. (or first laugh, post on your blog, then delete) His over-use of punctuation is troubling only because he seems to be surprised/ excited by his own vulgarity. Is he asking you a question, or shouting an indirect statement at you while flashing a highschool? I don't get it.

Saying they are going to call you and then texting instead, usually with something inspired like "When is a good time to call?".
Correct answer...No answer. Delete. If he can't bolster the courage to dial a phone, you can't help him. You shouldn't have to do the work for him. What he wants is a sure thing. He wants you to make yourself fully available, at his whim. This you can not do, Please note, he lured you into giving him your number under false pretenses. He SAID he was going to call. This is his first lie. Delete.

Men text that they will call and then miss the appointed time. They usually follow up the next day with "Hi" to see if you are still desperate for attention. He has never heard the sound of your voice and he is already playing psychological mind games. Please delete/ block this person. This is my wisdom and it is the kindest advice I can give you.

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