Monday, September 12, 2011

Date # 51 - The Mouse Stops For No Man

This date was my first experience with deliberately ignoring phone callsPlease note, Dear Reader, that The Rules NEVER indicate that you should be a pain in the ass. At the same time, you should never be too available too a man.

This man got my number within four emails and called during daylight hours. However, this is the bare minimum that a Rules Girl should expect, you should not jump on every call you get. For whatever reason, I decided not to answer it. He left a nice message, but I was truly busy with the fiasco of Date #50. Ironically, he called a second time while I was waiting for [rhymes with fenk] (see Date#50) to call and so I answered it.

He was adorable but he had no plan except that he was willing to come out my way. I asked him to meet at a great place on College but car trouble prevented it. I called to cancel and he was a little disbelieving. I didn't blame him. I hung up and concentrated on the problem at hand. I figured that was it. But he called back to offer assistance and when I got that message the following day, I thought it was sweet. I sent a text to re-schedule and he responded favorably.

He was early.
He was polite.
He was a lawyer.

The first 5 minutes were pretty bad. He seemed very nervous and quiet and I briefly considered making an excuse and leaving. But then I asked what he did for a living and when he said "lawyer", suddenly he had a lot to talk about! I was thrilled to be on a date with a man who had an actual job. He warmed up but always stayed very polite. He was a gentleman. He reminded me of Forrest Gump. This is not an insult. He was open to new ideas (i.e. he did not mock me when I said I drove to Graceland and stayed in roadside motels - which was an experience I loved, and that most people poke fun). He fascinated me with a long story about watching "A Fish Called Wanda" twice a day with his brother and learning to speak basic Russian in a Montreal bar while getting a Master's degree in Public Policy. These two stories are charmingly inter-related. 

After 60 minutes, I called for the cheque because there was an evil a/c vent pointed right at him and despite being cold I could tell he would have stayed longer (sweet). As we parted I told him to call me. He said he would, but then he sent a text message that night. It said that it was nice meeting me and if I wanted to go out again, then I should let him know. 
This is less than ideal. I want a man who knows he wants me, not a guy who needs encouragement to do basic things. So I did the nicest thing I know to do in this situation. I deleted the message and I will continue to hope that he calls with the intention of asking me out. But it may not matter because Date # 52 is already booked for tomorrow night.

And I decided that I am going to be artifically inseminated.

Full Disclosure: Date #51A
Well, colour me surprised. This man not only called me and asked me out. He showed up early, with minimal discussion and dressed better than when I first met him. He had yards more game than I first imagined.

He bought me 2 drinks and mushrooms neptune which he allowed me to devour by myself (smart man). Since he was a lawyer by trade - a civil litigation lawyer - he proceeded to fill the next ninety minutes by arguing finer and finer points of minutae with me. He simply could not help himself. It was totally adorable... but exhausting. And I was into it, I really was, if only he was not still in love with a woman who broke up with him 3 months ago.

They were both atheists (How do they meet each other?).

When he leaned in for a kiss goodnight - truly adorable - I discovered that he smoked, too. That and the no-God-thing is probably a dealbreaker. Oh, win some, you lose some, you burn others at the stake. Just sayin'.

Still More Disclosure: I thought this man had moved on, but I think he just went on vacation. He texted after 10 days (on a sunday night) asking if I wanted to go for a drink sometime in the next week - but he prefaced that with "My week is really hectic". It goes without saying that I do not care because everyone's life is hectic. Except mine. I work hard at having a calm life. And yes, this makes me a better person than you.

When I deleted the text, as he knew I would, he called on Wednesday (three days later). He called at 11pm at night and he left a message. He did not mention a hectic week in the message. I wonder what changed? I deleted that message too because I did not want to go out with him again. And truly he did not want to go out with me, or he would have called earlier, at a better time and made sure it happened rather than letting it die on the vine.

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