Monday, February 27, 2012
How to Be The Perfect Rules Date
I was happy to learn that I had male fans who read this blog. I was sad to hear that this blog merely re-inforced common sterotypes that men acknowledge already exist in their peer group. It’s the “If I’m not fucking it, it does not deserve my respect” attitude. It’s caused by a basic lack of decency. And it’s easily corrected if you have a rolled up newspaper...
While I cover how to get a date in “Here’s a Tip For the Fellas, too”, I did not cover what to do once you are in situ. Here - as a special (french) kiss to all my male readers - are tips for men on how to be the perfect Rules date:
You will either have planned the simple drinks date or asked for her suggestion on where to meet. Both is acceptable. Once you planned the simple drinks date, confirm it via text at about 4pm the day of. This is the only time I will tell you to text so use it carefully. A one-liner is fine “We still on for tonight?”. Do not use this as an opportunity to ask for pics or start a conversation via text. You are both nervous, this will just mess things up.
I find that newcomers to the online dating world will try and talk themselves out of a perfectly good date at the last minute. This will be the guy who starts asking weird questions via text and getting pissed off that he’s not getting answers. As you may know, I hate text messages at the best of times, but I would NEVER answer a chatty text right before the date. Mostly because I am busy getting ready, idiot. Newcomer then feels like he has the right to cancel the date. It results in: Now you are alone again. Don’t be that guy.
Show Up 15 Minutes Early
Barring certain disaster, a Rules Girl will not be a pain in the ass on a first date. She will be on time and she will only wait 5 minutes. The man who shows up early has the opportunity to make or break the date. Scope the room for the best spot. Sit down. Remove your coat, make friends with the waitress, order a glass of water or a whisky if you can drink it slowly. Use the washroom if you have to. Pull out your phone and check messages while you wait. When it comes to first impressions, you will look like a HERO for arriving early. Every woman appreciates a man who does not keep her waiting. Be That Guy.
Be In a Good Mood
Men do not smile anymore. We have a society of men who take this shit way too seriously. This is supposed to be fun. Let me break it down like this;
A simple drinks date will last less than an hour so be on your best behaviour.
Keep the conversation clean and the pace slow. Do not ask vulgar or sexually suggestive questions on the first date. Everyone knows what you want; you don’t have to say it out loud. That is the quickest way to creep a woman out. Don’t be that guy.
Take It Easy. Do not ask deep searching questions that require long answers. Sometimes when I am on a date I realize the man is trying to look for problems in my world, trying to figure out “what is wrong” with me. This is irritating and says more about the man than me.
I have said this before but it bears saying again: Whoever walks through that door may or may not be perfect for you, but if she isn’t then she may be friends with someone who is. Hint: Women know other women. If you are in the market to meet women then this is not a good time to start burning bridges.
Walk Her to Her Car
When the drink is done and the hour has passed, call for the check and walk her to her car if she lets you.
Do you want to really stand out from other men?
Show good manners and walk her to her car or to the bus or the subway stop. It is the number one things that girl mention after going on a date with a guy. I am dead serious. If you drove, then your car must be spotlessly clean and opening the car door never hurt, either. This is an ultra classy move that actually takes a bit of practice, so try it with your mother or sister and see the reaction you get. Make it habit and it will happen naturally when the moment is right. Be That Guy.
If you are interested and you are actually single, then call again in a few days to plan a real date (again). This one can be longer and can include dinner or a movie, but not an activity like rock climbing. Not even if you are both professional rock climbers.
Do not ask to be her Facebook friend. You are not her friend. Yet.
She will be busy so you may need to try her a couple of times.
Do not assume she is ignoring you. Do not get discouraged.
Be the guy that Does Not Get Discouraged.
If you are not single, that’s cool.
Wait until you are and then call her for that second date.
You do not need to explain yourself. If she is a Rules Girl then she will understand.
Posted by Elle Persephone