|I know, I know...|
This actually isn’t that good of a story, but everyone laughs at the punch line so I have to share it.
I went on Match.com. It went okay. I was tweaking my profile when I got the bright idea to write that I was open to writing to military guys stationed overseas and that I supported the troops.
Reader’s Note: My father was in the military before he died. And he was an American.
I think I even included that part. It was a fairly benign statement, like, I like being happy or I like eating ice cream when it’s hot, or I like when people are proud enough of their country to fight for it… blah, blah, blah...
And the next thing I know, Match.com kicked me off the site and refunded my money. Like, in less than 6 hours they did this. I sent an email asking why and they said that they would not tell me without a court order in the State of Tennessee. I’m not fucking joking. I have no idea what the State of Tennessee has to do with this, other than it is awesome.
This confused me for the longest time. I thought they had discovered this blog. Which is fine, because you can not separate me from my constitutional right of free expression. But then it dawned on my (Indonesian-American) friend; they thought I was looking for a green card. As if a Canadian looking to have a baby would ever move to the US – land of no universal healthcare. Get serious. Most Americans move UP HERE when they get a Canuck girlfriend. I can name five guys that I know personally that did this. Puh-leeze.
So here’s the punch line: When they refunded my money, I lost out on the exchange rate. I had purchased my subscription when the CDN was above par and when I got kicked off, my value was slightly less. So Match.com denied my right to life, liberty, marriage, babies and a fair exchange rate.
Match.com = Communists!