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Friday, September 6, 2013

All Cheerleaders Die (FILM review)



Ok, so this started 30 minutes late and I was standing outside for close to an hour which irritates me. 

(Big shout-out to my new friend-in-line, Leif!) 

The cheerleaders doing stunts outside were a great gimmick. While it has some clever dialogue, in the absence of a serious plot, they just turned the volume to 10 and hoped for the best. After 90 minutes of waiting, I raced to the abandoned bathroom only to hear the sound of the movie increase as I approached the ladies room door. I thought I was going crazy when suddenly a stunningly beautiful woman, ultra slim, elegantly tanned (every square inch) in a silver floor-length slip-dress burst from the bathroom dragging her fur chubby with a handsome pompadoured man in hot pursuit. Given the perfectly large diamond ring on her delicate left hand, I assumed he was her fiance. She was full tilt screaming and crying. He had to practically hold her up, such was her complete desolation. Her beautiful face was like a scrunched up nose. I suppose they had been in there to gather her composure, but it didn't work. He hugged her while she wailed something about contracts, film shoots and whether or not she "signed anything".
And so begins TIFF... (Ask me about the time Sean Penn almost walked into me)