Tuesday, January 7, 2014

Open Letter to Alli Reed, the aaroncarterfan

aaroncarterfan AKA Alli Reed. Like "Swimfan", but worse.

Dear Alli Reed,

Let me get this straight: You wrote a phony profile, filled it with egregious nonsense and then wrote about the resultant train wreck it caused, calling it "journalism"? They have another term for that: Garbage In, Garbage Out. Rest assured, I have carefully read your online article. Below please find some aspects I find troubling that were not adequately responded to in your “research”.

First, let me help you with a bit of housekeeping. Your profile got a large number of hits because your settings allowed it and because you were new. This is true of every online profile; it rises right to the top of the list because people like things that are new. Sadly, this is not a reflection of your desirability. If you had ever done more than one profile you would know this. I would be interested to learn how many emails you got seven days later. Not as impressive? Not surprising. Second, your article presupposes that “personality” is something that can be gleaned from an online profile. This is not true and you – apparently – are the only one laboring under this false belief. An online profile is closer to a resume, listing your past experience and your current qualifications. Sorry to break that to you, but perhaps this will help you better prepare your “real” one. Or your actual resume. I like to think that after this article you will need it.

In an effort at decency (?) your game had only one level, and it was Pass/Fail. I can assure you that the people who responded had many layers to the game they intended to run on you. Don’t get me wrong, your witty repartee was very funny and, at times, inspired but no one was in the least bit interested in what you had to say, not now and not ever. If you generalize, they were all very interested in actually meeting you. Likely to have sex, with or without your permission. You must have known this because you deliberately ignored their requests to meet. Your foolish words only reinforced how little regard they would have for you in person. They were interested in the obvious; they were interested in the photos of the beautiful model that you posted, no more and no less. Had you had the courage of your convictions, you would have posted photos of yourself. Congratulations, Alli. You just reinforced terrifying stereotypes about why it’s okay to abuse women; because they are stupid, because they are slutty, because they deserve it for past mistakes. As usual, the “world’s worst online profile” was more a reflection of what your sheltered middle-class values find abhorrent and less based in actual fact. You did this because you are scared of being vulnerable and because you secretly mock those who sincerely look for a life partner on the Internet. I will let your therapist sort that out. Having volunteered at a centre for women in crisis, I can assure you that what leads a woman to become a bully, or pregnant or a lie about being pregnant is complex. (Side note: Why did you throw your model friend under the bus? You could have used stock photos of pretty girls. What kind of friend are you? Did you tell her it would make her famous? Improve her career?)

Little girls who use men for drinks, dinner and work product are littering the Internet. This is bleeding into our social conscious; we watch endless commercials and sitcoms where husbands and fathers and portrayed as buffoons. In retaliation, “feminism” is blamed. This is not a response to feminism, this is just you being mean and celebrating it. You say you are “from the internet”. If you mean you pretend to be someone you are not and post the photos of others as your own, then you are correct. Sadly, it’s not a nice place, yet this is hardly journalism. What you did was mean. Moreover, what you did reinforces that it is okay to be mean. Do you really want men to judge women on past poor life choices? Do you really not know a single girl who threatened pregnancy in a fit of anger? I certainly do. How can you expect respect when you are so castrating? How can you trap, lure and mock men and then expect to build lasting loving relationships with them? Is it like flipping a switch? Answer honestly: are you sufficiently amused?


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